tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57524132840651967762024-02-20T13:40:26.265-06:00Curls O FredRachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.comBlogger384125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-14149872527018214152013-10-03T09:17:00.001-05:002013-10-03T09:17:42.559-05:00October 2013This month brings about a new excitement for me each year. The October after Lyra died, I was introduced to the art swaps involving the Day of the Dead theme. And I've loved it every single year, much to the concern and apprehension of most anyone I tell. "Skulls? the Dead?" You know, creepy things. *ha*
As in my previous post, this year involves twenty artists, and I'm already impatiently Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-31477730578212531432013-09-11T11:42:00.003-05:002013-09-11T11:43:11.843-05:00Day of the Dead heARTist TradeOctober is slowly making it's way into my brain, as I see stores put candy and costumes out on the shelves. I was thrilled to see that Kara has initiated her Day of the Dead swap this year, and jumped on the opportunity to participate. Go check it out, and join in!
Now to figure out what I'll do! :DRachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-24069584899379493472013-06-26T07:44:00.005-05:002013-06-26T09:39:20.316-05:00One smileI was walking ahead of Simon, clearing the path for him and leading the way as we wandered to more garage sales. Two little kids came walking the other way on the sidewalk, with their mom walking the street. We shared a quick smile and glanced at each other's children. That's all.
Just that one smile is all I know of this woman. This week, she was 34 weeks pregnant and started having Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-38175439300623109492013-06-17T07:44:00.002-05:002013-06-17T07:44:43.061-05:00Half Marathon
I crossed the finish line for my first half marathon!
It was not an easy run, and not my best, but I'm proud to be able to say I finished :D
Now to figure out what my next goal will be!
Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-39161329443005861752013-05-31T15:34:00.003-05:002013-05-31T15:47:07.492-05:00Right Where I Am 2013: Three years, Five monthsI get a text once or twice a week about getting together for a play date. Simon is a few months older than G, and he can say her name now and screams when we drive by their house and don't stop. They get along as well as all toddlers do, and they hold hands occasionally. I try not to fast forward 12 years in my mind, when holding hands is something much more weighty.
G's mom, and I have a blast Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-41956625061341692182013-05-06T10:16:00.002-05:002013-05-06T10:17:15.038-05:00ForgettingAs my cough continued, and my nose ran on, I thumped around the kitchen. I slammed doors and threw items forcefully in the trash. L looked at me out of the corner of his eye and quietly asked if everything was okay.
Yesterday was International Bereaved Mother's Day.
And I forgot. I did not change my profile picture on fb. I did not send messages to my fellow BLM's.
All I knew was that I was Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-61891895929943089452013-04-17T12:04:00.000-05:002013-04-17T12:04:17.235-05:00"What I Mean When I Say My Daughter Was Stillborn"This brilliant article is over at Still Standing Magazine...read to understand, to feel less alone, to learn or to continue grieving. Much love.Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-27568013758091362802013-04-04T09:32:00.001-05:002013-04-04T09:32:35.974-05:00Goals Check InIt's Thursday already, which is odd because it feels like we just started this week. I'm writing this post mainly because I finished a book last night, and that always gets me thinking about the fresh new possibilities of what book I'll read next. And then I looked at where I'm at with my book goal from my post back in January, and I got all excited to see what I'd completed or needed to still Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-59068563109674600442013-03-27T11:11:00.003-05:002013-03-27T11:11:33.663-05:00Train Harder
One of my friends here in town gave me this shirt last night. (Did you catch that? I have a friend! And we're friendsy enough to get stuff for each other!!) She is my running buddy, and we follow each other's training and share all our running nerdiness together. And she was also witness to my first ever pull up! And 15 minutes later, my second pull up. I could only get two done, but I'd say Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-77360994996176087872013-03-22T16:01:00.000-05:002013-03-22T16:01:02.807-05:00Potty TrainingI feel comfortable enough putting this out here, because pretty much everyone has potty trained someone or something in their lives. If you have dogs or rabbits or kids or husbands (ha!)...so I hope you'll forgive me for the content of this post :)
I also have to preface this post with this: I'm not promoting any particular training plan and I don't expect this to work for everyone the way it Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-67090201209041703142013-02-13T08:43:00.004-06:002013-02-13T08:43:54.685-06:00HeavyI lay awake last night, listening to our heater kick on and off and to Simon's rustling in his crib as he slept. I couldn't sleep as yet another family joined the ranks of our babylost club.
After finding the full identity of the family, a semi-aquaintence through my husband and our college world, I was struck with the full force of that raw grief again. I sat on the floor yesterday afternoon, Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-7838506294105444722013-02-01T08:27:00.000-06:002013-02-01T08:28:41.613-06:002 years oldToday he's two.
It's been a tremendously awful week. We've all been ill, with Simon and L still rather defeated at the moment. We've canceled Simon's party for tomorrow, so we don't gather everyone to share all of our germs and continue a vicious cycle.
But I still put decorations up. And even though I'll begin antibiotics for Simon today, I'll still make a cake. Because this day is celebratoryRachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-86924674306352243082013-01-22T07:54:00.002-06:002013-01-22T07:54:49.849-06:00Tattoo
Being the social networking maniac that I am, some of you have already seen this. But I'm still trying to keep this space updated. It's a good way to look back and see where I've been. I think I'm comfortable with that being it's main purpose now.
I've been wanting another tattoo for some time now. I love Lyra's footprints, and I wanted this one to be in color, and to be a Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-88040703298390682892013-01-03T16:51:00.001-06:002013-01-03T16:53:27.051-06:00New Year, New Goals2013 rolled in while my husband was puking his guts up. Not the most impressive start to the new year. My first goal for the year, was to not get the flu bug.
I don't believe in setting goals based purely on the calendar. I think it's a great time to do it, but I wouldn't limit myself to only setting them only at that one time. I think it's important to do a check every 3 to 6 months to see if Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-57457307806143578042012-12-21T00:00:00.000-06:002012-12-21T00:00:14.341-06:00Family PhotoThank you for your words on Lyra's three year anniversary. I had lovely flowers sent, donations made in her honor, and balloons released. We felt loved, and supported. Lyra was remembered.
And I've remembered so many other babies too...this season is not easy as we miss them in photos.
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I have not gotten Christmas cards out to everyone. I didn't create a photo one this year, and I didn't Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-79117862322451461662012-12-17T21:03:00.000-06:002012-12-17T21:03:13.803-06:00Three Years
Missing her lots.
This might be a repeat image, but it's fitting for this year. L came up with the concept, and I drew it up.
Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-58299818082225682352012-12-10T07:03:00.000-06:002012-12-10T07:03:36.518-06:00TimeThree years of memory is coming up this December. As I helped a friend in town remember her son on the anniversary of the day he died, it snuck up on me that it's never really easier. It feels that way some days, or weeks. But when it comes down to the fiber of our being, to the beating of our hearts, and the memory of those little feet and hands and lips and hair...it's never easier.
I spoke Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-61456766833759957022012-08-28T17:04:00.004-05:002012-12-10T07:04:18.060-06:00New FriendsI'm not sure what the turning point was. Or if there was a switch that flipped. Or if there was just a magical moment when everything aligned as it should.
But whatever happened, I finally made some friends. Even someone who understands picking out baby coffins.
I've had play dates, and have stayed out late partying, and dinners, and running partners. I realize how much I've missed friends who Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-78473126878490139322012-07-18T08:56:00.002-05:002012-07-18T08:57:18.490-05:00GoalsI've been rather absent for the month of July. I'm behind on blogs. I'm really only good at keeping up with the quicker social media options. Anyone on g.oodreads? I set a goal to read 15 books in 2012...
Which sets me up for what this year has been for me...a year of goals. I guess I'm a goal oriented person. It feels good to have my eyes set on something, take the steps to accomplish it, and Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-33772553747424168332012-06-07T14:04:00.004-05:002012-06-07T14:06:34.051-05:00Follow UpI'm not sure what to write after the "Right Where I Am" 2012 post. It was a big chunk of honesty.
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Thank you for all the comments. I felt so embraced. I would instantly invite you all over if I could. I'd try to convince you to do something artsy with me, and we'd eat another cranberry orange scone. I'd have my P.andora station playing, and the hours would easily tick by.
We could Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-1315068394272698872012-05-24T09:48:00.000-05:002012-06-07T14:05:56.255-05:00Right Where I Am: Two Years, Five monthsWe had a new couple over. And we never mentioned her name. Or her story. Or that aspect of our lives.
Not because she's not important. But because the last two couples we had over, we did mention her, and they never contacted us again. We run into them in town, but nothing ever happens again outside of polite chit chat.
So, last night we talked about high school, and college, and how we met andRachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-7668427683518480562012-05-23T12:39:00.001-05:002012-05-23T12:39:52.101-05:00New FabricWe got our current dining room set secondhand. It's not perfect, but it fits our quirky style. However, the fabric on the chairs was rather dingy and finally this last week I couldn't stand the hideousness of it any longer. Of course I did it in time for us to have company over tonight, so there was a bit of a rush to find fabric we liked, find a staple gun from family, and get it all reassembledRachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-8084763146355578702012-05-16T07:56:00.000-05:002012-05-16T07:57:33.567-05:00ConstellationsI've been contemplating how to map out the major constellations for Simon....and me. I came up with this, and liked the turnout. I just did some watercolors, with silver pen for the stars. They are all hanging at the end of our hallway, and I love them.
(Please overlook the bad quality of the photos. I do not put much effort into taking great photos of my work or creations...something I Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-70119367115582704742012-05-10T13:32:00.001-05:002012-05-12T20:00:12.171-05:00Mother's Day - Year ThreeMother's Day is this weekend. It's still always a struggle, and I know too many woman who deal with infertility, or are trying to adopt, or their mom's have died, or they're estranged from their children. It's not a straightforward holiday (are any of them?).
When a friend shared this link on fb, I had to share, because it's such a beautiful way to "acknowledge the continuum of mothering". Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5752413284065196776.post-25887619185725165882012-05-07T19:10:00.002-05:002012-05-07T19:10:58.366-05:00The Kitchen
As I was making biscuits tonight, Simon wanted to do his own preparations. He pulled the apron down for me to put on him, and gathered up a pot and measuring cups. And yes, that's a bottle of my lotion he's pretending to measure out...he hasn't figured how to open it yet (knock on wood).
I have some sort of egalitarian speech percolating in my head in defense of the fact that he's Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09811996974976569965noreply@blogger.com3