Weather

It's that time of year again. The mornings are filled with chirping birds, and the days are warm...unusually warm this year so far. The afternoons consist of the clouds lining up, sucking in air and billowing out the top, preparing to unleash their energy in a variety of ways - rain, wind, lightening, thunder, hail, and tornadoes. Knowledgeable storm chasers prepare their equipment for their week long journeys on rough roads and in dinky hotel rooms across Oklahoma, Kansas, Texas, and Nebraska. Amateur storm geeks and spotters (like me) prepare by getting their apps and links on the computer, ready to follow the radars and watch what happens from afar...unless the storms are in our backyards.

I love watching the clouds. Seeing them change color from the big white fluffy marshmallows, to the deep gray that contrasts with the wheat fields in just the perfect way. Seeing the calm breeze change to a mighty fury. Knowing that in all that beauty there is also terror. A town not far from us was wiped nearly off the map a few years back. We drive through it every time we head to the big city. They are still rebuilding. So that keeps my excitement for these storms in check, knowing that they don't occur in a vacuum, with no consequences. That people's homes and communities and lives are sometimes destroyed by these sporadic moments each spring.
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Easter weekend went well. We were sick with a cold, but traveled anyway to see family down south. Simon had his first interactive Easter, and hunted eggs. Thoughts of little Easter dresses were in the background of my thoughts, but never quite the forefront as they had been in past Easters. Simon is getting old enough that he doesn't yank on my jewelry quite as much, so I have started wearing my necklaces again. I wore the one with all our names on it this weekend.

L and I got a new car. It's our first as a married couple. Or ever. Exciting, yet nerve-wracking all at once. Especially with the thought of hail in the foreseeable future. We are fortunate to have a garage for when we are home and the storms come.
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We are fortunate in more ways than just having a garage, by the way. I do know that. It doesn't always feel like it, but we are very fortunate.

Random: Easter

I've had two friends mention this past week that they know someone who has lost recently, or will inevitably lose their baby. It shook me a bit, tapping into those feelings I've compartmentalized since Simon has been here. Reminders of those moments of raw pain and grief...knowing that two families will suffer and everything in their lives will be touched by this event. One of my friends asked me if I'd do a family painting for the family she knew about.

I'm humbled when I'm asked to do a family painting for someone. I feel it's a small way of showing the world that the child is remembered...that they are a viable part of one's family. I had sold them on etsy, but that slowly ground to a halt during the stress of my pregnancy and grieving. I feel I'm getting back into a rhythm, or even a desire to be creative again. Simon takes a lot of time (which I'm more than happy about), but I want to be able to do these paintings again...it's a very small way to help families remember. If you, or someone you know might be interested, please check out my etsy shop.

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The frilly dresses and excitement for Easter still leap out at me. Having a boy, you don't get as excited as a parent in regards to what he'll wear to Easter family functions or church or whatnot. I don't know if it's a more religious based tradition, so it may not be something a percentage of people do...but in my life experience, each year little girls get dresses for Easter.

So, it's yet another bittersweet experience: Sadness in missing out on life with Lyra, and excitement for Simon's first Easter. We have a good friend coming to visit this weekend, so that will be enjoyable too. 

Wishing you all peace and calm for this weekend.