This post, paired with the last post, are perfect examples of the dual mindset I have right now. One shows a woman full and very pregnant...how lucky and grateful I am to be in this state of life again. Today is showing emptiness...a previous experience, or a continued experience as a BLM?
I know I've belabored this point, but I just miss Lyra. And despite the goodness of Simon, and our anxious waiting for him to be here, there's always a part of our family missing...a part of me that feels empty without her. This drawing is just a small aspect of a moment in my day...it's not a constant image. But it's there, floating around, as an experience that will forever be a part of my life.
I think life after losing your child is about duality, which this bit below perfectly describes:
"Do not judge the bereaved mother. She comes in many forms.
She is breathing, but she is dying.
She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.
She smiles, but her heart sobs.
She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS,
but she IS NOT, all at once.
She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity."