Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Heavy

I lay awake last night, listening to our heater kick on and off and to Simon's rustling in his crib as he slept. I couldn't sleep as yet another family joined the ranks of our babylost club.

After finding the full identity of the family, a semi-aquaintence through my husband and our college world, I was struck with the full force of that raw grief again. I sat on the floor yesterday afternoon, crying with the weight of it. Simon came running up with a huge hug, and I let him tackle me. He looked at me, and then lay his head down on me, and we just lay there for a time. No wriggling or goofiness. He just seemingly understood I needed some love and grounding.

I've been asked to create a family painting for this family, and I'm honored to do so. I had a candle lit all day yesterday for them. I have one lit today for all of ours too.

Wishing you love and light.

10 comments:

  1. I'm sorry that yet another family has lost their baby and that you are filled with sadness as you remember losing Lyra. Thinking of you and them in a special way. Hugs to Simon and his beautiful love for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sending you lots of love, to you and this family so full of raw grief. Big hugs, friend.
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm sorry for this family, to know the terrible loss of their child. The sadness comes so quickly, the grief so fully. Sending you love as your Lyra spot is awakened and tears cried.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sometimes I am overcome too when a new person emails, or someone I know loses a baby. It is overwhelming to think how long we have lived with this reality and how quickly your life changes entirely. Sending love to you as you paint for them. Painting for them seems, sometimes, like the only thing to do.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sending some love and light back to you.
    Love that Simon sensed what you needed

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh it's so hard. I recently was contacted because someone I know, knows someone who's baby just died. The vortex of death swirls once set in motion. I have had days where my grief legs seem to buckle and we are right back to the beginning. Sending love to you and them. Thank goodness for little boy hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh that awful awful feeling each time another family loses a precious child. Sometimes it knocks me right off my feet too, takes me right back and as Angie says reminds me so brutally of how long I have been living with my own loss.
    Painting for them is such a lovely gift. x

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete