It's 80 here today. I went out intending to sketch, but wrote instead.
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"React well" society says.
The shadows and fog do not care about what is prim and proper.
The lurking envy and mocking pain strike at random.
There is no magic formula for easing the grief.
It will only ever cease when I take my post beside her in the ground.
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Before, life had it's questions. The hypothetical ones about
politics...religion...pepsi or coke
The bumps and hills were manageable after
a pat on the back and a good night's sleep
Skies were blue, with a warm sun
Grass was soft and cool and there were trees with fingers of shade
In the night death reached its tentacles to the safest of all places
and stole my joy, my beauty, my daughter
The nights echo with memories never had
and laughter forever lost
Whispers now escape from the mist
from the ever-long reaches of the stars to me
I long to return to naivety
to relive the moments of ambiguity that was my life before
Now the weight produces a hypothetical middle finger
to questions long ago
This how I've been feeling lately. I just feel so broken beyond repair and it's starting to sink in that the naivety is gone forever. Big hugs to you
ReplyDeleteThis bit here:
ReplyDeleteI long to return to naivety
to relive the moments of ambiguity that was my life before
I see pregnant friends all excited about their 20 week scans because they're going to find out the sex and I just feel scared they're going to find out something is wrong.
Hugs.
I wish the naivety could come back. It's all so very true. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteBeautiful words full of sorrow and truth.
ReplyDeleteGlad you could get out and enjoy some sunshine. Thanks for sharing this - it's beautiful.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written and on the spot. Sometimes I wish the old "me" back, the one which just needed a pat on the back to overcome daily struggles. Sigh... living the new normal...
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. xx
Oh this is soo good. Yes, I feel annoyed by day to day things that used to seem important...I'm even annoyed by the needs of others. That's not like me. I'm a public radio junkie and went to school for social work...
ReplyDeleteI love your lines "In the night death reached its tentacles to the safest of all places
and stole my joy, my beauty, my daughter" so beautifully and clearly put.
Thank you for sharing your heart. I have never met you, but I find myself missing your daughter, too. I say both of our daughters' names into the northern wind.