Balloon Release

First off, today is 10 months...already. This past weekend was quite fitting time wise, and I'm not sure it's even caught up with me. There was so much that went on.


it was incredibly touching to see everyone's fb status' and blog posts about their lighting candles on the 15th. And so many of you did other creative ways of remembering and sharing. I did have a candle lit, and thought of so many of you and your sweet babies. Thank you for thinking of Lyra too.

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We woke up Saturday morning to absolutely perfect weather...even slightly warm for October. No wind (which is crazy unusual for Kansas), blue skies, and warm sunshine. We got everything set up and organized and just hoped the rest of it would go off without a hitch. We got 10 family groups there...some with their whole families, and some representing for themselves and others. It was a good little group, and I was glad to meet some for the first time, and reconnect with some I hadn't seen in a while. We had 6 people share expressions of how they remember their babies...with a scrapbook, keepsake boxes, a shadow box, a poem, a card, knitted hat, and picture, and I had three of my art pieces. I was very thankful for the willingness of those people to share with everyone.


L's brother and his family joined us for the balloon release. I have to say I have some amazing nieces and nephews (4 of them, grade 4 and under). They decorated balloons for Lyra, and talked openly about her. "This is for you and your daughter." Drawing pictures of L and I and Lyra, and saying how they missed her. They weren't afraid of her. She is their cousin, and though they don't get to play with her, they still see her as a part of our lives. My sil shared that they were watching a sunset recently, and the purple and pink and all the bright colors were pointed out. I guess there was a few clouds, and one of them looked like a smiley face, and my oldest niece pointed it out and said that it must be Lyra looking down. These four sweet children brought me a lot of encouragement...along with the continued support of their parents.

So, after we had time to prepare the balloons, we walked a block to an open area nearby. The breeze had picked up a little bit, but wasn't blustery. I asked L to read to read the first half of the poem, "We Remember Them", and then we all released the balloons. It was perfect, the way the breeze pulled the balloons away...all together. The colors of the balloons popped against the blue of the sky. Two people shared what the balloon release made them think of: 1) Like in real life, we had to let our children go. The balloons, as they swirled around in the sky, were like them running off together...not alone, but in each other's company. It was a comforting thought. 2) The balloons were like a moving constellation, producing a pattern in the sky. Beautiful, and yet full of remembrance.

Some stayed to talk after the release. I was so glad for each and every person there. I hope this initiated an awareness that we don't have to go this all alone; that there are others close by who understand one or a combination of the miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss journey.
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To shortly summarize the rest of the day:
-Trip to our old college town...where Lyra is buried...and where it was also homecoming weekend
-Met up with another BLM who was in town for homecoming. She was one of the first to contact us after hearing about Lyra's death through a fellow friend in California. She's been so good to listen and always responds with so much encouragement. It was a wonderful time...and she kept me preoccupied and away from the homecoming activities...I wasn't ready to face a lot of people and answer how life is going. 
-Visited Lyra's grave with L's bro and sil. Our nieces and nephews had never been before, and were wanting to see it. They brought glass stars to decorate her gravestone with...which was just perfect. I had a little pumpkin for her too. Some sweet pictures were taken, and then we actually hung out in the cemetery for a long while. It was a beautiful evening, and quiet. The kids played and we were able to talk until it was dark and there were other activities they needed to get to. We drove home, and promptly fell asleep.