Friday, November 5, 2010

Random

Yesterday was another appointment. And the dreaded glucose test, and I only say dreaded because when pregnant with Lyra I couldn't keep it down. I did fine yesterday though. Not much new to report...which again, is good. Sono to check on the cysts is not yet scheduled.

I've been having a hard time, with nothing in particular pin pointed; or if there is, my thoughts are muddled. I'm really not looking forward to the holidays...I've been struggling to know how to honor the day we delivered Lyra and held her for the first time. It's in between U.S. Thanksgiving and Christmas, but close enough that the grief taints both holidays. I'd like to just hibernate and be a grumpy bear missing her baby bear. Our families have been, and continue to be gracious with us in our grief. I'm sure I'll have some hibernating times, but it is also good to embrace the love from our families and not let these possible memories slip by.

I visit Lyra's grave today for her November visit. Time to gather her pumpkin, and check on the glass stars that were left last time. I have confidence now that her Tiger will still be there, untouched &  keeping watch.

7 comments:

  1. Glad the glucose test went better. I've been through that - it is NO fun at all. Hope you passed it :) I think holidays are a struggle for everyone especially those like you who suffered their loss around that time (((hugs)))

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  2. i look at your counter every day i stop by - only 95 to go! oh, yes, that dreaded glucose test, that is awful! glad you got past it! xo

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  3. sending (((big hugs))) your way.

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  4. (((HUGS)))) Glad that test is over. I go for mine next week. Thinking of you and Lyra as the holidays approach. XO

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  5. I am thinking of you...what a complicated time you are coming up on. Nothing is easy anymore.

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  6. I am still praying and thinking about you and Lyra. I know the holidays will be hard, but you are right to want to at least try to embrace your family's love. I will be praying for you guys during this season.

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  7. The days leading up to the anniversary are so hard. I am glad your families are able to let you be and also understand your desire to reach out and just be together. Whatever feels right, my friend. Big love to you.

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