I write this post on the tail end of several other bloggers already having written about something similar. Of course I didn't mark who the blogger was, and my mind is crap and can't find the two posts that I am thinking of...please forgive me. I'd like to be sure and say that I'm not writing in response to those posts...I appreciated the dialogue and experience of the women who wrote. I'm writing this based on my own experience in real life, and not in the blogging world.
I'm broaching the topic of the different ways of mothering...mainly the narrow topic of being a stay at home mom (SAHM) and a working out of home mom (WOHM). (I say narrow because I know there are work at home moms, stay at home dads, etc.)
I know people who have chosen to work out of home because they want a career. I know people who have chosen to stay home because they desire that. I know people who would like to be home, but need the income, so have a career out of home. Each is a different avenue of mothering, but it is still that...care for their children. I respect each of those avenues, because I know each decision was not lightly made.
As I've mentioned in another post that I'm not bothering to find the link to, I feel looked down upon because I have chosen to be a SAHM. I'm not going to give reasons for why I think I'm right, or WOHM's are right, or the pros and cons of either of them, because honestly, I'm sure everyone has had their part in this discussion already. I merely wish for the respect back that I've given to others, with the decisions they've made in regards to their families. Respect for the fact that I relish every moment with my son since I don't get any with my daughter. Respect for the fact that L is glad for me to be at home with Simon. Respect for my decision, whether it's something that they would do or not.
And that's all I'll say about that topic.
I hate being far away from Lyra's grave. I don't know if her tiger's are still there. I don't know if it's mowed, or if the grass has died, or the wind has blown her glass stars off. Simon has struggled so much in the car, that it's been hard to do just the basic travel we've done, without doing extra trips to see her plot. It feels the only way to mother her, and I've failed.