Got together with another BLM this morning. We've met up before, so we just fell into our thoughts and feelings together...sometimes teary, sometimes laughing at our jaded-ness. Though our experiences differ, and our paths aren't the same, there's still a connectedness which I am so thankful for; a camaraderie in this crazy, abnormal life we now lead.
And today is 14 weeks. I think little S.uh is growing. I have a bit of a bump now. I took a picture. And then looked back at my 14 week picture with Lyra. And just cried. Sometimes I just want her. And I'm not supposed to be here with this one. Lyra is supposed to be here. But it's just not how it is. I have this little one growing. And I'm happy. And still sad. Confusing, eh? (and fearful that voicing all that somehow jinxes everything)
One paragraph is happy. The other dreary and sad. Such are my emotions nowadays. I blame hormones. And having a dead baby.