I don't know how to pretend it didn't happen. If a complete stranger asks if I've been sick with this pregnancy, I don't know how to just say "Yes.". I say, "I was pretty sick with my first, and this time around has been worse."
:( If it makes you feel any better I do the same exact thing... I'm constantly saying, "Well, with Alexandra..." and then there's either the understanding or the awkward silence. (((HUGS)))
If someone is asking you personal questions, they should expect personal answers. I am so sick of comforting complete strangers, but more sick of having every conversation be so complicated. It is complicated. You can only answer your truth. To me, that is the bravest thing you can do.
I agree... if someone asks they have to be ready for the response whether awkward or not. I felt bad when I had to tell people who knew I was pregnant that I had had a miscarriage because they don't take it well. But I had to say it. You should never have to pretend it didn't happen! (((hugs))) I sang a song in church yesterday and played slides telling it was for my babies with dates and all so the whole church knows my loss. Much love to you!
Nara was my third child. I know this baby is your second, so I wanted to make sure you knew that most people compare their current pregnancy to any previous ones. Lyra's pregnancy is your point of reference for pregnancy. It is as natural to compare this pregnancy to your time with her. Not only natural, but good. Good to remember the time you spent with Lyra, morning sickness and all. I know I'm putting this in simplistic terms for something so complicated...I just find it so infuriating when people try to give us social cues that we are breaking the cultural norm somehow by expressing our reality.
:( If it makes you feel any better I do the same exact thing... I'm constantly saying, "Well, with Alexandra..." and then there's either the understanding or the awkward silence. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteok, I have to comment again because the word I had to type for the comment was, "bless". :)
ReplyDeleteIf someone is asking you personal questions, they should expect personal answers. I am so sick of comforting complete strangers, but more sick of having every conversation be so complicated. It is complicated. You can only answer your truth. To me, that is the bravest thing you can do.
ReplyDeleteI agree... if someone asks they have to be ready for the response whether awkward or not. I felt bad when I had to tell people who knew I was pregnant that I had had a miscarriage because they don't take it well. But I had to say it. You should never have to pretend it didn't happen! (((hugs))) I sang a song in church yesterday and played slides telling it was for my babies with dates and all so the whole church knows my loss. Much love to you!
ReplyDeleteNara was my third child. I know this baby is your second, so I wanted to make sure you knew that most people compare their current pregnancy to any previous ones. Lyra's pregnancy is your point of reference for pregnancy. It is as natural to compare this pregnancy to your time with her. Not only natural, but good. Good to remember the time you spent with Lyra, morning sickness and all. I know I'm putting this in simplistic terms for something so complicated...I just find it so infuriating when people try to give us social cues that we are breaking the cultural norm somehow by expressing our reality.
ReplyDelete