Potty Training

I feel comfortable enough putting this out here, because pretty much everyone has potty trained someone or something in their lives. If you have dogs or rabbits or kids or husbands (ha!)...so I hope you'll forgive me for the content of this post :)

I also have to preface this post with this: I'm not promoting any particular training plan and I don't expect this to work for everyone the way it worked for us. Every child and family is different, so I'm just sharing how this process worked for us in case it might help someone else.

For a few weeks now, Simon has been going up to the toilet, and "pulling" the front of his diaper down, like Daddy. A few times I've taken his diaper off and let him stand there, and a few times he was able to go in the toilet. But mostly, it's just been mimicry. This last week though, he seemed particularly interested, and I joked with L before he left for work that maybe we'd be potty training that day. And then I realized I should go all in if I wanted to help Simon (and myself), so I did some quick research, and fortunately had already bought stickers and candy for the occasion.
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Day 1:
We spent all day in the bathroom. Yes, you read that right. We have no area in our house that is not carpeted (ugh), so I figured hanging out in the bathroom would be a good limited area to stage this first day. I took off all his clothes but a t-shirt so there was nothing to mimic a diaper in his mind. We had n.etflix on the ipad, some toys, snacks and lots of water/juice. I asked him every 10-15 minutes if he needed to pee, and he always said no. So I learned to start saying, "It's time to pee." And he'd go stand on the stool in front of the toilet, and try. That first day he went 19 times in the toilet. One sticker was awarded per pee, and two would be awarded for poops (none this day). Getting three stickers in a row meant a piece of candy.
We did go outside after L got home, and I focused on dinner. His only accident of the day was then. And those are fine, because it's a reminder for him of why pee (or poop) goes in the potty.
Nap and Nighttime are still diapered. I dont' know that I'm going to mess with that right now...I can handle two diapers at the moment.

Day 2:
We spent another morning in the bathroom. Going poop in the potty is going to be a harder task, because it's not a timed occasion or Simon. It's sporadic and not always daily. So this morning I missed it happening, and we just worked on putting it in the potty after it happened. I still had him half naked, and that helped with ease when he went potty, so he didn't have to pull anything down. We still operated on a 15 minute schedule. 21 successful times today. 2 accidents.
We ventured to the rest of the house in the afternoon. And we did go outside in 20 minute increments. I put him commando in loose pants. No complaints about coming in to pee, as long as I reiterated that we'd be going back outside. Same with pauses in playing with toys, etc.

Day 3:
Simon started telling me when he needed to pee, and we knocked off our first sticker chart because it was already full! While at home, I still have him half naked. We went out in the morning to get the mail, and still had him commando in loose pants. No accidents. And another trip out in the afternoon with no accident. We moved to 15-20 minute increments between pee checks, when I had to remind him.
And this ended the "intense" potty training, because he seemed to grasp the concept really well.

Day 4:
We went to a friend's house for 3 hours this day, still commando in loose pants. Simon did great going in the toilet there, and there were no accidents. I checked on him every 30 minutes, or when I knew he was drinking more. We also went out to eat at a restaurant in town later in the day, and he managed fine there too. I'm pretty stinkin' proud of him at this point. My kid's a rockstar when it comes to peeing.

Day 5:
Today we went to my Grandma's house, and he was comfortable going there, with no accidents. Another day commando in loose pants. I might follow through with that for a while yet, just so he doesn't have additional underwear to try and pull down too, and maybe until we have a better handle on pooping. I don't want to throw underwear on him and it feel enough like a diaper that he doesn't bother trying to poop on the toilet.
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All in all, I feel pretty lucky that he has handled it so well so far. I'm kinda waiting for him to regress or something, and if he does, we'll just adjust and do what we need to do. But that's where we are at right now. The three day intense training was rather exhausting...I literally spent every waking moment at his side, on the floor or bent over him. But it seemed like a good move for us to do, and Simon responded to it well. If he hadn't, we would have tried something else.

So there's that. Look forward to some future posts about artsy related things. A good friend planted an idea in my head, and I hope to expound on it here. Happy Weekend to you all, and sending lots of love.

2 years old

Today he's two.

It's been a tremendously awful week. We've all been ill, with Simon and L still rather defeated at the moment. We've canceled Simon's party for tomorrow, so we don't gather everyone to share all of our germs and continue a vicious cycle.

But I still put decorations up. And even though I'll begin antibiotics for Simon today, I'll still make a cake. Because this day is celebratory - this is the day we held our boy!

Birth - 1 year - 2 yearish

Goals

I've been rather absent for the month of July. I'm behind on blogs. I'm really only good at keeping up with the quicker social media options. Anyone on g.oodreads? I set a goal to read 15 books in 2012...

Which sets me up for what this year has been for me...a year of goals. I guess I'm a goal oriented person. It feels good to have my eyes set on something, take the steps to accomplish it, and have the satisfaction of achieving it. After Lyra died, I did the Creative Everyday Challenge, and I did art swaps. But I did not do much outside of what fit in with my grief in 2010.

2011 brought the goal of bringing Simon home safe and sound. It brought the goals of breastfeeding and moving and settling in to our new life.

And for 2012: I want to be active and read and create.

I want to read - I am 100% sold on audiobooks now...I've listened to all three of the H.unger G.ames books, and have W.icked lined up, and a few other ones in mind to get. So that's where my 15 books read in 2012 comes in...I'm up to 10 read so far. I do visually read several books, but it just takes so much longer with Simon around ;)

I want to be active - I've logged 420 miles so far, since the beginning of February. That's spread out between walking, biking, the elliptical, swimming, and running. And I decided 5 weeks ago that I was going to train for a 5k. So I've been doing the Couch to 5k training, and although I'm a bit of a poser runner, I've been surprised at what my body is capable of. That's been a big goal for me to set this year. And L has seen a big change in my temperament - I'm a better mom and wife when I'm able to get out and do something. I feel better about myself, and I feel less "pent up" about frustrations or stress in life.

I want to create - Of course creating is always necessary. Whether it's gifts for others, or just randomly drawing something, this is another healthy outlet for my emotions.

One goal that is more difficult to measure is contentment. This hot, hot summer is hard on me. The wind wears me down. But I'm finding things that are beautiful still, and ways to still enjoy this time, and not wish it away. I fear getting in a mindset of looking ahead to when things might be better, instead of being present in this moment. I don't want to model that for Simon. So, I'm writing things down that are good about the day, or funny, or memorable. Some of my favorites as of late are:
-Simon doing the downward dog while I do pushups
-Discovering our neighborhood mockingbird
-Clouds
-Simon pretending to feed his cookie to the kitties in his book
-Clean clothes hanging out on the line

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Perhaps I'm using the word "goal" wrong, but whatever state you find yourself in, I challenge you to find a goal to achieve soon. It doesn't have to be 5k training, or reading a so many books in a timespan. If it's a good patch, it could be finishing one project you never got to finish, or signing up for that cooking class, or joining a book club. Or if it's a rough patch, just getting up and putting on your favorite earrings, or emailing a friend to get together for coffee could be your goal.


And do drop me a line to let me know what you plan on doing or are doing...I'd like to keep you in mind - we all need a little encouragement and support.

Follow Up

I'm not sure what to write after the "Right Where I Am" 2012 post. It was a big chunk of honesty.

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Thank you for all the comments. I felt so embraced. I would instantly invite you all over if I could. I'd try to convince you to do something artsy with me, and we'd eat another cranberry orange scone. I'd have my P.andora station playing, and the hours would easily tick by.

We could remember and eat and play and create new memories together. It'd be lovely.

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I was reminded of the difficulties of simple questions. I've managed to build a sort of wall against them, and even wield the simple question myself at times, against others. Unintentionally of course...a sort of camouflage technique to prove I'm "normal" again. But I know the damage and difficulties they bring, and I needed the reminder.

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I found some pages that were written the year after Lyra died. Many many many words of confusion and sadness. I'm not always sure that those words still couldn't be spoken today, at least in regards to L and I. While our life has improved drastically, and is more stable, and we are more whole with Simon, there are still broken pieces.

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I'll be away from the computer for a time, but will return. Wishing you lots of sun and love these days.

The Kitchen

As I was making biscuits tonight, Simon wanted to do his own preparations. He pulled the apron down for me to put on him, and gathered up a pot and measuring cups. And yes, that's a bottle of my lotion he's pretending to measure out...he hasn't figured how to open it yet (knock on wood).

I have some sort of egalitarian speech percolating in my head in defense of the fact that he's pretending to cook and bake. But ultimately, the speech is jumbled and unfinished, and L & I don't need a defense for our son, or how we are raising him. Some days, L models cooking and cleaning, just as I sometimes model mowing and putting oil in the car. It's all just life, and he's finding little ways to mimic and fit in to it and I love it.

Fleece

We had been excited about cloth diapering (CD) since our good friends had their first baby almost 5 years ago. We saw how well it worked for them, and figured we'd do it when the time came for us.

Lyra brought out the CD crazy in L. He was getting samples and showing them to anyone who would listen. He wanted all colors and designs and it was sweet to see him so excited about preparing for her in that way. The wind was taken out of his sails though, and he has never quite bounced back in regards to his previous excitement about CD'ing.

We did disposables when Simon was first born, because we didn't have access to easy laundry facilities. Then we moved, and waited a bit. Once we got started though, I was hooked, and picked up quite of my own obsession (though we used disposables if we went out or traveled).

Until there was a month of unfortunate stomach issues with Simon. And I became quite accustomed to disposables. But I kept having this nagging thought in the back of my head, about why I had been convinced about CD's. So this last week, I gave it another go.

This might be TMI for most people, but if it helps someone else, then I'm happy to divulge :) CD's were great with nice, normal solids. But when they became smushy or less than solid, it was not so great. Of course I had read to scrape or spray the solids off. Unfortunately, I didn't have a sprayer, and for scraping I must have been doing something wrong, because it just was not as easy as everyone described.

Until I was introduced to fleece liners. Jeanette mentioned them to me, and I found some other posts about using them. So, I had some fleece (not flannel), and cut it up into sizes just a little wider and longer than the inserts I use. (I use shells, with prefolds for the daytime, and the pocket diapers to stuff full at night.)

And they are freaking brilliant. Even the smushy solids come off without becoming ingrained into the fabric, and it protects the shells so much better than before. I read that the fleece liner directs the moisture to the prefold, thus making the solids easier to detach from the liner. Plus, I figure if there is an extra runny one, I can soak the liner in a bucket, but throw the insert in our normal diaper bin.

I'll also buy some of the flushable liners here soon, and see how those doo...excuse the lame pun.

Anyways, I thought I had read it all to know how to do it, but sometimes it takes just a little gem to make it that much better.

Have you stumbled across anything that has made an element of life better for you this week? Hoping for a beautiful weekend for you all. <3

More teeth

I mentioned awhile ago that we were dealing with teeth coming in. Apparently I don't know anything about teeth and how they come in. At that time, we were actually dealing with two lower incisors and 4 molars. (I had to look up a diagram, because these things are causing such disruption in this house.) At the moment, we are still dealing with those four molars, and two more lower canines. Now of course, it's not constant pain all week long. But yesterday and today have been a beast, and I am so grateful for the early bedtime he has so I can get some breathing room. I'm hoping tomorrow is a bit of a break...that my motto of "this too shall pass" will come true.

I feel ashamed that I feel so disheveled when he has his rough days, because I'm supposed to be the calm one who helps him through it all. And I only have one. The families who have more than one living child, and have all different stages of "helping them through it all" - my hat goes off to you. I know you learn and adjust, but it's still amazing.

Of course there are days like in the picture above. These days outnumber the bad ones. He's really an enjoyable little boy who gives kisses and hugs and makes every day funny in some way.

I'm lucky, and I know it. So, while I complain or lament a hardship in parenting, I know that I've got it good.

Now, wish him quick tooth growth so he can get back to enjoying life. Wishing you all a beautiful moment sometime this week. <3

Peg People

So in case you all didn't know, Angie has some pretty kick ass ideas for her kids, life, and family. If you don't already follow her, you should. One of those ideas, that I have yet again shamelessly copied, is peg people. I remember reading one of her blog posts about her peg people, but in going back and searching, this is the only one I could find on them. I loved the idea of a tactile way of having Lucy as a part of their family. Plus, having a miniature version of your family to play with is pretty awesome too.

And so I made some for Simon. I got lots of little peg people. I plan to paint the rest of them as super heros, or knights, or pirates or something...whatever Simon might be interested in a little later. I totally was gung ho to make a castle for him, out of cardboard boxes, but I was convinced to wait until he's a bit older to enjoy it more :) But I went ahead and made our little family for him. He's liked them so far.

All credit goes to Angie, and her willingness to share those projects and ideas with us here in this community. Thank you!

Weather

It's that time of year again. The mornings are filled with chirping birds, and the days are warm...unusually warm this year so far. The afternoons consist of the clouds lining up, sucking in air and billowing out the top, preparing to unleash their energy in a variety of ways - rain, wind, lightening, thunder, hail, and tornadoes. Knowledgeable storm chasers prepare their equipment for their week long journeys on rough roads and in dinky hotel rooms across Oklahoma, Kansas, Texas, and Nebraska. Amateur storm geeks and spotters (like me) prepare by getting their apps and links on the computer, ready to follow the radars and watch what happens from afar...unless the storms are in our backyards.

I love watching the clouds. Seeing them change color from the big white fluffy marshmallows, to the deep gray that contrasts with the wheat fields in just the perfect way. Seeing the calm breeze change to a mighty fury. Knowing that in all that beauty there is also terror. A town not far from us was wiped nearly off the map a few years back. We drive through it every time we head to the big city. They are still rebuilding. So that keeps my excitement for these storms in check, knowing that they don't occur in a vacuum, with no consequences. That people's homes and communities and lives are sometimes destroyed by these sporadic moments each spring.
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Easter weekend went well. We were sick with a cold, but traveled anyway to see family down south. Simon had his first interactive Easter, and hunted eggs. Thoughts of little Easter dresses were in the background of my thoughts, but never quite the forefront as they had been in past Easters. Simon is getting old enough that he doesn't yank on my jewelry quite as much, so I have started wearing my necklaces again. I wore the one with all our names on it this weekend.

L and I got a new car. It's our first as a married couple. Or ever. Exciting, yet nerve-wracking all at once. Especially with the thought of hail in the foreseeable future. We are fortunate to have a garage for when we are home and the storms come.
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We are fortunate in more ways than just having a garage, by the way. I do know that. It doesn't always feel like it, but we are very fortunate.

Travels

We are currently passed the teething crisis of last week. It took a few days, but we made it and Simon, is more or less, back to his same old self.

Simon has a new friend who was born this past month, so we traveled to see them this weekend for their baby shower. The shower was so beautiful and it was obvious how much love there was for my friend and her little boy. 

It was in the same town Lyra is buried, so I updated the flowers at her grave, from autumn colors to  nice bright yellow spring roses. I couldn't linger, as they were mowing, and Simon was waiting. But it was a beautiful day to visit her for a few moments.

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Simon is 14 months now. He's learning so much and showing that he's quick to learn and mimic. He communicates through a series of noises, signing, and pulling us and pointing to whatever he's interested in. He can sign "more", "all done", & "thank you". He says, "mah mah mah" while he signs "more". I used to think he was saying, "ma, i want more." But it's his way of saying "more". He bobs his head and dances when music is played, and it's just so stinkin cute. When we come in from outside, he points to his shoes for them to be taken off, like us adults do, and then does a hand washing motion. He has a funny little question sounding noise, and then his pissed off screech. He's also quite adept at throwing his toys, or throwing himself to the ground and laying on his back when he's unhappy. I could go on and on about how amazing my little boy is, but of course I'm biased and know that we all have way more going on in our lives to actually read it if I did that.

My wish or hope or thought provoking statement for my friend's baby shower was to enjoy the little every day moments together. It's not just the birthday's, or holidays, or firsts or other momentous occasions that are important. For me, it's the days that I don't get dishes done because we're playing outside together, or he pulls me to go push him around in the laundry basket. I won't remember the chores in 20 years, but I will remember (hopefully) these moments with him.

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Our garden is growing. We have peas, green beans, and about a million lettuces and spinach. We are worried about heat, as it's already been unseasonably warm already, so we didn't bother with many other things. I could probably go ahead and plant our peppers though. We don't have much else, as we were worried about the heat, and wanted to start small. I'm excited for what we may get though, and it's a good start :)

Teeth

We are dealing with six teeth coming in. I hope we come out of this unscathed.

Streamers

We celebrated Simon's first birthday this last weekend. I made these streamers after searching for DIY homemade decoration ideas online. It's so simple, but incredibly festive. Cut strips of fabric, and tie them to yarn or string. Voila.

I hated taking them down, but they will be used again.

I made a chocolate cake, decorated with dinosaurs. I also tried my hand at homemade oreos and shortbread cookies. I'd recommend both recipes to anyone. The shortbread cookies go particularly well with a cup of good tea.

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I felt fairly emotional about Simon turning one. Everyone always barks at you how fast it flies by. And it's true. I look back at video snippets and pictures and wonder how he could change so much in one year.

But it makes me wonder about her.

Images of pinks and butterflies and frilly skirts vanish as I run a green J.ohn D.eere tractor over Simon's legs and up and over a chair. I love roaring dinosaurs and I look forward to catching turtles and making mud pies. I don't lament over anything to do with this sweet little boy that I'm lucky to have in my life.

The shadow babies that she would have been born with are coming up on two years this month. I guess they aren't babies anymore.

It's more subtle now, but echoes of her resound in every element of our lives.

And I'm not really saying anything new.

One year old

Little brother is one today! He's healthy and happy and just the most delightful little person ever. I am so thankful for him.

You'll find us with our Day of the Dead from a delightful swap, and a little monster outfit today.

Wishing you all some fun for Halloween (31st) and full of remembrance and celebration of those gone too soon for the Day of the Dead (1st & 2nd).

Friday Rainbow Baby Blog: September 30

(I'm all out of whack with the blog world. Onceamother is not doing the Friday Rainbow Baby Blog Rodeo today, but I missed last week, so I'm catching up.)

We are on the go here. Simon's been working on crawling for a while now...getting up on a knee and two arms, but not quite getting the fourth leg right. But the last two days everything's clicked, and he's inching his way around now.

He also may have some top teeth getting ready to give him some trouble soon, but none poking through yet.

He's also a good helper when I do laundry, or when I just need some good drum beats to do some chores to.

Oh, and did I mention he'll be 8 months old tomorrow? I'm really trying to savor every single second...even the hard ones (sometimes)...because I know it's just going too fast.

I love this boy more than I ever thought possible.

Friday Rainbow Baby Blog: September 2

Simon is 7 months old now, and doing so well. He's really working on his "m's", and sometimes sounds like he's saying "momma" (as you'll hopefully see in the video below. Please ignore my voice.).

He tries to get on all fours, but his one leg gets caught up in front, so he's kind of a tripod at times. He scoots a little bit on his bum too. But his most trusty mode of transportation is still rolling.

He gets to go to his first wedding this weekend, so I'll probably be out in the lobby for most of the service :) He's one wiggly and noisy little dude. Send good traveling vibes, as he'll get a good chunk of time in the car seat.

Friday Rainbow Baby Blog: August 19

"August 19th is about honouring and remembering the lives of babies and children that could not stay with us. By doing this we are speaking out about the death of babies whether it is through pregnancy, infant or even child loss."

~Carly Marie

Remembering Lyra, and all the other sweet babies who are gone too soon.

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On a very different note, today is:

This past week, Simon has taken to inching around. He lies on his back, arches it, and pushes with his legs. He doesn't get very far, but it's something new for him and he seems to be somewhat proud. It's made diaper changes more interesting, that's for sure.

His quickest mode of transportation is his rolling. He hasn't even considered crawling yet. I'm sure it will happen when he's ready. He likes to practice standing though, and has really strong legs. If he's anything like me, he'll skip over the crawling and go to the walking. Ultimately, he'll do his own thing though, and we'll just be patient and see.

The newest thing that cracks us up is how he feels everything. Think the 'bye bye' motion...just the main four fingers moving up and down. He does it all the time on new fabrics and his diapers and toys...EVERYTHING. And it's how he makes his spinning toys go...he's a pro at it. 

We'll see what this next week brings!

Wordless Wednesday 8.17.11

Friday Rainbow Baby Blog: August 12

At almost 6.5 months old, Simon measures in at 30 inches long and 20.7 lbs! He's now made his way into the 75th percentile, but is just tall for his age...he's in 12 month clothing.

I thought the hatred of his car seat had passed, but he had an atrocious trip yesterday. He's perfected this shrieking squeal that is really something. Still hoping it passes at some point, but feel bad for him still.

His hair is really growing in. I'm going to show off the red again. I'm tickled that it's stuck so far.

I'm entering the above photo in Paper Mama's "eyes" photo challenge.

Friday Rainbow Baby Blog: August 5

Blogger was being a pain, and it messed with what I was doing,
so this went ahead and published early. I'm just going with it.

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There's not much terribly new to report this past week. We've tried some brown rice cereal, and he seems to enjoy it...he leans in for more. I have to use two spoons...I rotate between them as he "helps" feed himself. We will mostly BF still, but we can work our way into the solids a bit in the coming weeks.