Rural life

Here are a few snapshots from the surrounding area. Surprisingly our area of Kansas isn't all flat. Obviously I've played around with filters, but these are a few of my favorites.

12.18.10

12.6.10

I've been working on Christmas presents, which I of course can't take pictures of and display. I also worked on a family painting for someone who recently lost their first child at 25 weeks. Also forgot to take a pic of that. So, I don't really have all that much to prove that I've been somewhat creative. You'll just have to believe me :)

12.1.10

A small section of the giant painting. I'm feeling really good about it. I have quite a few bumps and wrinkles from the collage part of it, but I'm not fretting about it. It's a learning process :)

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Bullet point listing time:

- I got my hair trimmed today. Always feels good to just let someone else take care of something like your hair. My stylist is super easy to talk to and it's always a good experience.

- My Dr's appointment for this week went well. Newest info is that I'm not supposed to be doing much of anything...pretty much just resting at all times. He never mentioned the actual terminology "bedrest", but he mostly wants me sitting or lying down. I think since we don't know what caused the abruption before, he wants to eliminate as many scenarios as possible that could bring another about. If I'm just a lump on a log, then we have less to worry about. I'm going to request a butler monkey, as Angie has done.

- We got a few Christmas decorations up. Our apartment is so tiny, there's no room for a tree, but it feels subtly festive...which fits our mood just right.

- This made me laugh, and is somewhat true of our apartment building. 

- Today has been ok. That's a good start for such a difficult month :)

11.23.10

L brought home a 2.5' x 3.5' canvas a few weeks ago. Someone was giving it away...already painted on...and canvases that size are not cheap. So he brought it home for me and I've been contemplating what to do with it. Here is the progress I've made so far (I didn't take pics from the same angles):

Collage stage

Washes and paint stage

I've been working on it here and there, so I'm not sure when it will be done. I'm excited for it though.

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I'll bullet point the rest of this post so as not to ramble extensively:
Good things:
- Weekly appointments are underway (!)
- Simon is still measuring ahead
- Had a good catch-up with a BLM and felt refreshed after letting some of my crazy out. She understands my crazy, and good at listening to it all :)

Disappointing things:
- I hate to mention this, but to be fully honest, I've lost weight. As mentioned above though, Simon is measuring ahead and healthy. The nurse today sure acted like I'm purposefully trying to do this though...as if I'd want to add another element to an already high risk and stressful pregnancy.
- We had plans to visit both our families for Christmas...out of town. The Dr. said for normal patients with no previous issues, he recommends not traveling after 34 weeks. Since I'm abnormal, he wants me in town...no traveling. He wants to keep a close eye on me - which is a good thing. But that causes some hassles and recalculations of how we'll see everyone...we haven't figured that out yet.
- Still feeling sad. Or melancholy. And emotional. Not anything new though...

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Wishing everyone a gentle week. We'll be doing Thanksgiving with L's family and visiting with some out of town friends. I've been lax on posting lately already, and it's most likely I won't get around to much the rest of this week. Love to all.

Day of the Dead Swap

Since this weekend is probably packed full for everyone, I thought I'd post this now, rather than this weekend.
I was able to be a part of the Day of the Dead art swap that was organized by Ines this year. There were six of us total, and this picture (from left to right) shows my mixed media ATC, Amy's magnet, Angie's block print, and Kara's mixed media piece. Aren't they delightful? There are two more are coming from overseas, so I'm anxiously awaiting the lovely work that they've done :)

There's a Day of the Dead art exhibit showing here in town Oct. 29- Nov. 2, and I'd like to make my way over and see it.

10.27.10

Sketchbook pages 21 & 22

Watercolor and Pen

The words in the light might be hard to read. They are:
I can do this
love
awareness
hope
I miss you
healing
I love you

10.25.10

Sketchbook pages 19 & 20

Pen and Watercolor

10.12.10

Sketchbook pages 15 & 16

Pen/Watercolor & Pen/Ink

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Good things from this weekend:

- My first ever marathon...I was part of a cheering crew for a friend. I made this sign for it!

- Yummy food and fun with my family back home.

- Two grocery bags of little boy clothes.

- Rain.

Hard things from this weekend:

- Picking up the stuff we stored after Lyra died.

- Sorting through her clothes to find the gender neutral ones.

- *sob*

10.7.10

Day of the Dead Postcards in my Etsy Store

4x6

Pen and Marker

10.6.10

As promised, more pages from my Sketchbook Project.

10.5.10

Buttoned Cowl in my Etsy Shop

Brown yarn

Crochet

9.30.10

My creative energies have been all over the place lately. I do have some new pages complete in my sketchbook project...just need to scan and show.

Of course the balloon release is on my mind, and in my activities. I have no idea how many people to expect...which doesn't bother me except for wanting to have enough balloons and helium. I've planned and prepared for events before, but this one feels so much weightier because I want it to be meaningful for everyone who comes. It's not the art show that I organized in California...where I realize some people may not get it, and I don't care. This is our children. My wanting to please everyone becomes a glaring monster, and with all the terrific suggestions I've gotten, I realize how much more this event could be. I hope it can be more...and better...and different in future years (if it's done in future years). I feel bad, because I'm sticking to something so simple and basic. Like I'm not giving our children the best, and what they deserve. And if the parents end up disappointed, then I've let their children down too. Weighty thinking, I know, but there you go.

But the last two days have been focused on getting some stuff done for etsy . I'm learning more about the Day of the Dead, and decided to make some postcards that would be available for people to send in celebration. I have one available...and more in process. And with Autumn knocking, I've been working on cowls. Again, only one listed right now, but have a few about ready to list.

9.27.10

I got together again with the BLM who visited Lyra's grave with me (let's call her 'R'). As I sat with R, learning to knit and to teach how to crochet, we talked about the happenings of the last week of our lives; the land mines of social situations, the happiness in good news, and the hope of what our futures may hold. I got to see her daughter's memorial in their house, and their sweet nursery too. It felt good to see how another family remembers their child...how our functional everyday shows the love for that child. She let me cry about how confused I was feeling, and listened with patience as I rambled trying to piece together all my thoughts. I felt embraced...despite all my crazy.  It was a good day.

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I can't say I've bounced back from what I was feeling in my previous post. After announcing about Simon, I got an email that said (paraphrasing here) that this is a transition on top of a transition. L said that we had a vision of what our family looked like when we were pregnant with Lyra...him and I and a little girl. We are transitioning away from that vision...letting it go and embracing this new image of what our family might be. I think it has hit me so hard because I haven't let go of that original vision yet...that image that we had prepared for and looked forward to. 

I hope it didn't come across that I was disappointed to have this baby boy. Quite the opposite. I know how lucky I am with this second chance at making our family. I just haven't let go of Lyra yet. Not that I ever will, but I hadn't considered how final this new baby would make her death. We are moving on with life, and it's harder than I thought.

So in the midst of all these crazy feelings, I felt it was vitally important for Lyra and Simon to come together in an image. To show this transition in our lives, and embrace our two children. Of course the stars mean so much to me, so they are an obvious component in indicating Lyra. Simon is in my belly, but with his own unique pattern and personality. Our path is unknown, as you can only take a day at a time...but it will be with both of them in our lives.

My children

11x14

Acrylics

9.23.10

Gender and Name Announcement

4x6

Graphic Design

9.22.10

ATC Heart Swap

3.5 x 2.5

Watercolor and Pen

9.16.10

What did I do that was creative today? I got more people on board with spreading the news of the local balloon release that I'm organizing for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day!! I made lots and lots of calls, and sent lots and lots of follow-up emails. Got some several larger communities in the city willing to post information in their newsletters/bulletins, and will drop off some flyers at a few places. I contacted some media people, and we'll see what happens there. I have several other BLM's helping spread the word too, and am thankful for their help in this. I feel good about it all.

Can't travel to Kansas? Check out the I Am the Face website to find out how to be a part of the October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

9.14.10

ATC's : Moon Theme

(3) 3.5 x 2.5

Pen and Watercolor

9.13.10

Balloons

Digital Photography

Cropped, no color enhancement

ATC: Dandelion Wish

3.5 x 2.5

Pen and Marker

8.30.10

Dragonfly

1 x 5

Watercolor & Pen