Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Random: new house

It's been forever since I've blogged...and I feel justified in all that's been going on. But when I sit down to list what I do on a daily basis, it doesn't seem like I'm really doing all that much. I can follow blogs on my phone now, but it's harder for me to comment. So please forgive me for being so quiet in response to all that is going on with your lives.

We are all moved and "unpacking" and settling in. I love the part where we get to reorganize and plan and decide where things should go and how things should look. It feels like a fresh start and both L and I like that. However, it's been slow going for me. Simon nurses long and loves to be close to me if he's not feeding. He's isn't 100% keen on the baby bjorn carrier, and so it makes it difficult to find two free hands to unpack during the day. I had my eye on a moby wrap when pregnant with Lyra, but am planning on ordering one asap as I've heard such good things about them. (Any other carriers or wraps out there I should consider before diving in with the moby?)

I realized I needed to reassess my mindset about Simon and "doing things". The other day I was sitting there nursing him, waiting for him to be done so we could go to the grocery store so I could mark it off my list of things to do...to accomplish. Some days it doesn't look like I've done anything...if I manage to make something for myself to eat, and throw on a new shirt I'm doing good. But he's the important thing right now*. The grocery store can wait. L can go later, or watch Simon and I can go later. Right then, I was providing nutrition and love for my son. And there's nothing shameful in that, even if I don't get everything accomplished that I had hoped to for the day. He's only this size and snuggly and in this stage for so long. There will be time later on when he'll not need so much attention and I can have snippets of time to do "stuff'. We're still working out a routine and how things look now that we're all together. But I won't wish this time away...or rush passed it.

I didn't get this with Lyra. So I'm going to cherish every second with Simon.

*I don't have other living children or a job, so I have the luxury of having such a low key approach right now. Don't hate me.
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The house is great. Lucas did a fabulous job picking a house out. It's a pretty standard ranch style house, but it's one of the nicer ones in town that was available on such short notice. Simon gets his own room now, for which I'm glad. Now the fun part will be painting the walls of our house! We love color, and have some ideas about what walls we'll paint what colors. I'll get some pics up sometime soon hopefully.

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Things are different. My grief is different. It's changed since Simon arrived. Maybe it's more masked because he takes so much energy. I've been told I seem happier. He does make me happy. I feel good about the move, and our new house, and life in general right now. That doesn't eliminate the grief/anger/sadness of Lyra being stillborn. I don't really even know what to say about it all right now. I don't have a solid explanation for how I feel, or seem, or how things are.

But a new friend gave us a gift for Simon. It was an outfit with 'little brother' on it. I hadn't gotten anything like that for him...indicating there had been someone before him. But I immediately loved it. And I have to post a picture of it...Lyra's little brother showing off his new outfit.

20 comments:

  1. He is soooo cute! Enjoy the baby time - before you know it he will be 1 and all over the place!

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  2. Oooh he's gorgeous!
    I say go ahead and get the Moby, a stretchy wrap is lovely for new baby snuggles and so much nicer than a BB.
    Oh, and you are accomplishing every day, but you know that already I think? (If not I can recommend reading "What Mothers Do".

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  3. I say get an Ergo. They are workhorses, and hold the baby in an anatomically appropriate position (i.e. not dangling by the crotch) and go up to 60 pounds or something insane like that. Nigel lived in his for about 2.5 years ;-)

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  4. L loved the Moby when she was a baby. Good choice, I think, especially for a little one. There will come a day when you will get more done, but today (and tomorrow, and the next day) is not that day. Enjoy this while you can. :)

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  5. What a thoughtful gift for Simon - and he looks so adorable in it! Glad you're enjoying all these precious moments with him.

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  6. Ooooooooooo, he is absolutely adorable. And I love that onesie. So cute and thoughtful. I know what you mean about the grief. I think I finally accepted Lucy's death in a concrete way, I don't know if it was T's birth, or just the passage of time. But accepting that she wasn't coming back lifted that feeling of stasis or something. Anyway, sorry to babble, I love what you wrote about Simon and breastfeeding. I have felt that way about my babies. This time is so short. Sending you love. xo

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  7. Gorgeous.... he's such a great accomplishment - don't worry about groceries and everything else :) I used to want to get what I thought were important things done each day... but now realise that these early days were so special :)) I look at our toddler now and wonder where all the time has gone... but wouldn't change a thing. Great to hear all is going well xoxo

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  8. Ooh, what a beautiful boy. You have sucked me right back to a time, just after Angus was born. You may think you're making not a lot of sense right now, but this post is crystal clear to me. We lost a daughter, we then welcomed a son. I know all too well of the feelings you are talking about.
    Love to you all.
    xo

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  9. I've been thinking about you the past couple of days, so thanks for the update! I imagine my blogging habits will change when our baby arrives in April/May.

    I've heard the Moby wrap is good, but I have yet to use one myself. We've got one waiting from Acacia's pregnancy to try out with her little sister.

    I LOVE Simon's little outfit - so very thoughtful of your friend. And I smile with such warmth to think of Simon breastfeeding, and you taking such good care of your little boy.

    Much love to you and all of yours!

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  10. What a thoughtful gift from your friend! So perfect. And oh, that FACE! He's gorgeous. And I'd love to see a pic of him enjoying those cute green booties you got over the summer :)

    O is also a snuggler in a way E never was. I like to think it's his way of forcing me to slow down and enjoy him every second I can; his way of letting me know it's OK to enjoy him, despite all we lost with his sister.

    So glad to hear you're settling in, enjoying your new little love.

    I personally love the Moby, but O has been enjoying riding and napping in the New Native carrier--a pouch-type sling. I waited til he was a little bigger to put him in it.

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  11. You are such an amazing mother, I LOVE your outlook and perspective. It's so true, all the other things can wait, this it the time to enjoy your precious baby. In a way Lyra is with you guys, she is with you in those moments, where you cherish your son and the things that are to be held close and not taken for granted. And it is so wonderful to see you so happy..lots of love my wonderful friend ((hugs))

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  12. Love the outfit- Cooper wears outfits that say little brother too. It's my way of telling the world that there was a baby before Cooper.

    sending you and Simon lots of love...

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  13. Thinking of you and sending lot of love! I love the onesie so fitting for such a beautiful boy!

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  14. I cried during this post! I wish I had had this realization when Abi and Alex were little. I will have it should I be lucky enough for a next time. He looks absolutely adorable in his outfit! ;-) Sending lots of love~xoxo

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  15. I've been taking a blogging sabbatical but wanted to check in and see how you and SImon were doing. He has changed so much since the first picture you posted, and is 110% adorable. I'm glad that you are feeling happy- I've learned that being happy doesn't have to mean you can't feel sad too. It's an emotion that can co-exist with all the others but shines a bit brighter. I hope for continued blessings for you and your family!

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  16. absolutely is he a big brother!! he looks very cute in the outfit.

    xxoo

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  17. ehh little!! sorry!
    I cant believe I just wrote that!! please edit my comment if you can!

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  18. Geez, he's so cute. Just look at those inquisitive eyes. Enjoy every moment with him and cuddle as much as you fancy. Hope everything goes smooth with moving into the new house.

    xo

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  19. Don't know why my comment was listed anonymous.
    That was me, Skytimes.

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  20. Love, love, love that picture!!!!!!! Luke wore his "Little brothers are awesome!" outfit yesterday and I loved it and cried about it at the same time...so bittersweet, but you are right...cherishing the sweet with all I have. Thinking of you!

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